future ponderings

Doing better after a couple of days stressed out.

Don't know where I sit after the string of posts on authentic self and all the rest. Haven't suddenly disagreed with what I said or have practiced, but maybe more skeptical than I've ever been--which is saying a lot--that it has legs outside very small circles. And even within those not entirely clear (at least to me) what's the point, where's the beef on it.

I think it is all somehow connected to my rather harsh view of the guru-disciple relationship in the Western sphere.

And thinking that the future of spiritual communities, if there is to be one, must be self-organized, open-source, mutually accountable type gatherings. As long as there are teachers, who function not simply in a professional consultant (however much I hate that image) role vis a vis different aspects of the journey and are more than that, then they will be fathers/mothers and the practicioners/seekers children.

If people need to seek they need to seek, they should just be honest about what they are doing and be honest about forfeiting their ability to speak intelligently on most matters--particularly political in this day and age. I'm so sick and tired of politically and socially uneducated spiritual seekers thinking that because they meditate they are somehow experts on what needs to happen in the world. Spare me your views please. I'm not interested. Unless you show me you have thought deeply, felt sincerely about these matters, I'm sorry sitting silent doesn't earn you the right to pontificate.

Especially of course I'm criticizing the stereotypical leftist, boomer, green meme spiritual seekers of our day. As much as the ignorant supposedly "second-tier" (or third tier for that matter) absolutists and fundamentalists.

I've been pushing hard in different ways over the last couple of years the so-called integral blogosphere. I want that push to be done in a way of deep respect and admiration not egoic ostentation. Don't know that I've always been true to that intention. If not, I'm sorry.

The reason being I think underneath other personality flaws of mine, is that there is nothing out ahead of this. There is no pre-set structure to walk into, no established tradition to take up. I think, as I've just said above, that the traditional Eastern format that has morphed into the Western model, structurally doesn't work. Other than as state exposure. Which is profound and needed, but beyond that has serious deficiencies. Structurally deficiencies I believe.

That's why I've also mostly avoided getting locked into what I think are endless quagmires of debate pro/con on the known groups/institutions: I-I, Foxhollow, SD, integralworld, whatever.

My interest is on the assumption of responsibility from within--not arguments pro or con from an abstract distanced position. To paraphrase Don Beck of all people, don't get locked into flat shouting match debates just build the group/structure that makes the whole situation and argument obsolete.

Problems are rarely solved in an evolutionary context--the intractable ones that is. They are dis-solved. They are shown to be intrinsic byproducts of an earlier less mature value system. For now given where the gravity of thought/feeling is at, I think that policy has more to do with the development of people than actual structure building. I'm more interested, for now, in the ideas and the exploration of how to verify experientially (individually and collectively) the Kosmos.