I have a lot of jealousy for my younger, "enlightened" friends. God is a child playing with our silly adult notions--for caprice even we might say.
I really am a spoiled brat when it comes to this stuff--like a spiritual Veruka Salt: "I want the world..."AND I WANT IT NOW.
I like to think of meditation as "exercising" all three bodies. No matter what there is ego. Even that relatively neutral label is chock full of the stuff. I mean, like physical exericse--I do more sets, more reps, feel better, look better, have a better self image. There is something inherently contradictory about achieving something which in turns makes one more humble. Yet, the self has a "right" or so to be healthy, to be sane, and to be relatively wiser.
Letting in recently that if the relative path is this mixture of Self and Other Power, then the absolute is FULLY SELF OR FULLY OTHER or neither. I.e. what if it is predetermined? Then I simply do what I am doing anyway, I guess. I "exercise" the three bodies, I try to practice greater sincerity in my relationships, wider and wider concern for others, and simply for time to time place myself in The Witness, feel the contraction, surrender everything to the Lord, give thanks in the midst of the sacrifice, and see if the miracle occurs.
It makes no sense really to talk about it--even in terms of re-cognition.
flows through air, my nostrils, and eyeballs.
trapped in the back of my head.
Free, unafraid, unmoved
in his pneumatic ivory tower.
The world "out there",
unperturbed in its movements.
The relation un-understood,
not worth the discussion.
Much love and egotism,
Much mercy and self-centeredness,
A life different in kind
and yet mostly the same as others.
I relate to the relation of relative truth
And so it goes.
Not much to hear from,
Not much said.
Not much embraced nor excluded.